Happiness is . . .

For me, this weekend showed me what happiness truly was . . . This pair! Congatulations to Mr and Mrs Etheridge (and Dr Osgathorpe). The love these two show one another is so wonderful, it was dicciult to hold back the tears when watching them together at any point on Saturday night, it was such an honor to be a part of their day.

I am so unbelievably happy for Lynnie, she means an awful lot to me. In my darkest times, in my drakest days, she was there - ever smiling, bouyant and brilliant. Even though I was still struggling with demons, living with her and steve was one of the happiest years of my life. It was also the last time I was struggling against my weight, and sturggling horribly with stress. Steve and Lynne saw me through it and still remained by my side - thankyou.

It also made me realise this weekend how happy I am at the moment. I was 12 stone exact on Saturday morning (following alcohol and mucho food on Saturday night I am slightly heavier today, but thanks again to Lynne and Pete for a glorious do with amasing food - grilled goats cheese salad, roast beef and lemon torte mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm and then cup cakes!!!!!). But my dress fit well - possibly a little big around the hips, but I felt confident strutting my funky stuff on the dance floor. Have not really had an appetite since Saturday night, think I over indulged slightly too much.

It also ,ade me realise how happy I was with Steve. Ok, maybe we are not ready for such a permanent step, but I know I would like to be with him for the rest of my life. He has seen me through an awful lot of crap and has supported me with my efforts to lose weight. Me being happier makes him seem happier and that is a big reason to keep going at this. If I get back to my 'happy' weight, who knows what new doors may open. I believe being happy and confident reveals new opportunities and experiences, I am more open to things and more willing to push myself.

I am happy but I know I can feel happier about myself, not just my situation. So, here I go with that big push to lose that last stone, and maybe get myself a new dress that fits!

(slightly fat face - I'm not too photogenic!)