Incontinence in a Corner

The title is mainly just to amuse Carly! But it is one of the many subject matters we discussed this evening. No, we did not go on a conference which discussed how best to deal with children with bowel issues but we diverted our task onto this subject very early on in the evening. Tonight our Boss decided it would be smart to send myself, Erika, Carly and our leader Eamonn on a leadership course/project/conference thing - still not entirely sure which it really is or what we are supposed to do.

The main point of the evening was to establish types of person, types of managing styles and what colour we should dress in (pretty much - a 'yellow' man in our group was actually wearing a yellow tie - what are the chances?!!) Its an old management style looking at how people work and behave. All four of us appeared to be Yellow people along with the cheery yellow tied man, meaning we were enthusiastic, positive, fun loving type people who are motivated by free beer, chocolate fountains and donkeys at school fetes (come on, who wouldn't have fun at that school fete!)

However, as Erika, Carly and I were distinctly 'Yellow', it did lead to us being 'off-task' somewhat. In fact, don't think we actually discussed anything on the course for longer than about 3 minutes at a time. Main topics of discussion were of course an unfortunate poo related incident, donkeys, Carly's immature love of the number 69, how to introduce oneself to men without a beard, the Secret Meeting (little explanation:- On the board coming into the Hilton Hotel were the different conference rooms and the meetings being held. For one room it merely said 'Secret Meeting'. We were beyond intrigued, the fact that they said 'Secret' meant that we were desperate to go! What they were discussing, who knows? I believe to get into the 'Secret Meeting' there were some treasure map related antics, possibly some hidden handshakes and more than likely, a heavy discussion into the great secrets of the world: why hedgehogs have spikes? What really is at the end of the rainbow? why kerry katona is allowed to live? and why a lot of short men are so bloody irritating? We can only dream. However, the fact that I had no idea what was going on for the most part of the evening led me to believe we might have actually been in the secret meeting all along, the secret being what we supposed to actually do.) anyhoo.

Eamonn, having abandonned us to watch the football, left us to our deeply complex and intellectual conversations! I haven't giggled so much in ages! I know it was work, but we had so much fun! We did learn a lot, but what I think I really found out was that three 'yellow' people together were quite scary. Before coffee had arrived we had managed to scare away all the other people from our table (not sure we were appreciated). Infact, before long we were sat in a corner all alone with as many hilton after dinner mints we could eat! Feeling slighty incompetent as I still wasn't clear on what had gone on over the evening, basking in our yellow glow, aching from laughing a little too much, I felt content.

I find it difficult still with people I work with to feel relaxed and completely myself. Barriers were thrown up during my third year at uni - I shut down pretty much. I was a complete mess in other words and was horrible. I found it, and still find it very hard to form new friendships, the friends I have known what a mess I was and don't judge me on it. I am only just getting used to the fact that none of the last few years really matter, it doesn't matter how I was, just who I am. It has taken a very long time to get back to feeling somewhere like normal and less unhinged. The wiring still isnt quite right in places, but thats ok. Even with those disconnections, if I can truly relax, be myself, and enjoy giggling hysterically about inane nonsense, then I am happy.

Good company, good food, good laugh! Good night.