Definitly a yo-yo! As long as I can remember my weight has gone up and down quite drastically in short periods of time. However, I have been stuck with my weight going up for some considerable time now - One of my teachers at school warned me that one day the chocolate bars would stay on me and I wouldn't be thin anymore. Looks like Miss Wright was right! The years of not taking food seriously is beginning to take serious effect.
The picture of me was taken at some point during the summer and was part of the first set of photos that made me realise what had happened to me. I can't bare, at the moment, to take a more recent photo as I have got bigger even since then. I comfort eat. I felt really down about how much bigger I had got, but instead of stopping eating my brain decided, "I must EAT!! I feel better when I eat! The troubles of life disappear when I eat! You're not fat, just not thin! Built for comfort not for speed!" The latter becoming a sort of mantra. Not a healthy one.
I have spent a long time convincing myself that it doesnt matter what you look like, just how you feel. And I still believe this. It's just that how I feel is total crap most days! Steve said I seemed happy for the first time in ages yesterday, that it must have been my decision to be pro-active instead of completely inactive!
I suppose like any addiction, the first step is acceptace! Well, I have accepted what I need to do, bloodyhell, I'm typing about it for all to see!! This could be percieved as narcassitic (spelt right?!) but this will stop me pretending. Stop me trying to convince myself that miserable and podgy is the way life is meant to be!
Anyway, my vital stats as promised. I remember the days when I was a size 10. Well those days are certianly long gone! I am now aiming to get back to a size 12. My current proportions are:-
Chest = 38" or aprox. 97cm
Waist = 34" or aprox. 86cm
Hips = 42" 0r aprox 107cm
Height = 5' 8"
Weight = 13 stone 1 lb
I have a long way to go. Ideally I would like to lose 2 stone and have set myself a target for each half stone that I lose:-
13.1 = THE BEGINNING
The picture of me was taken at some point during the summer and was part of the first set of photos that made me realise what had happened to me. I can't bare, at the moment, to take a more recent photo as I have got bigger even since then. I comfort eat. I felt really down about how much bigger I had got, but instead of stopping eating my brain decided, "I must EAT!! I feel better when I eat! The troubles of life disappear when I eat! You're not fat, just not thin! Built for comfort not for speed!" The latter becoming a sort of mantra. Not a healthy one.
I have spent a long time convincing myself that it doesnt matter what you look like, just how you feel. And I still believe this. It's just that how I feel is total crap most days! Steve said I seemed happy for the first time in ages yesterday, that it must have been my decision to be pro-active instead of completely inactive!
I suppose like any addiction, the first step is acceptace! Well, I have accepted what I need to do, bloodyhell, I'm typing about it for all to see!! This could be percieved as narcassitic (spelt right?!) but this will stop me pretending. Stop me trying to convince myself that miserable and podgy is the way life is meant to be!
Anyway, my vital stats as promised. I remember the days when I was a size 10. Well those days are certianly long gone! I am now aiming to get back to a size 12. My current proportions are:-
Chest = 38" or aprox. 97cm
Waist = 34" or aprox. 86cm
Hips = 42" 0r aprox 107cm
Height = 5' 8"
Weight = 13 stone 1 lb
I have a long way to go. Ideally I would like to lose 2 stone and have set myself a target for each half stone that I lose:-
13.1 = THE BEGINNING
12.8 = Have my hair done properly - coloured, cut etc, instead of a box job and trim. I love having my hair done, it makes me feel so much more confident!
12.1 = Get all dressed up to the nines and go for a posh meal with my lovely boy! I love going to restraunts and will have to hold back from doing this for a while.
11.8 = spend the £150 of clothes vouchers I got for Christmas on a lovely set of new, properly fitting, hopefully sexy, clothes! I am only just fitting into my current clothes but I refuse to buy anything bigger!!!!
11.1 = THE TARGET Go away with Steve somewhere fantastic to celebrate!!!! I will also be having to save some money in order to fulfill my target!!
I don't think this is unrealistic, and I hope I can manage it in a sustainable way. I would hate to get back to 13 stone 5 that I was a couple of weeks ago!
Right I should really do some work. Hope you have a lovely day.
Nx
2 comments:
I'm a comfort eat too Nat! Piled weight on when I was preg with Emily.. never lost it.. and comfort piled more on!
I know its tough. Here if ya need an encouraging word or two down the line
Hugs,
Claire (bennett!!)
Aw thanks chick! Really wish I had the excuse of giving birth, unfortunately Im just lazy! Worrying thing is Im still bigger than a coupld of girls at work who are due in feb and march. Not good!! Hope you're well, cheers for the support!
Nx
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